Glue - Glue 7" (Katorga Works/Video Disease) (2014)

I saw some punk bands play the back of a tire shop in Huntington Park a couple days ago. According to wikipedia, "A 2012 study by the California Center for Public Health Advocacy found Huntington Park California had the highest percentage of overweight children in all of California with 53% of the city's child population being obese or overweight." That might sound alarming but I find it to be very comforting. At least 53% of my writing is fat. On the other hand, seeing Glue in a town that flourishes in fat was odd. Glue is 0% fat. They are a lean, mean, moshing machine. Every song is in a constant state of pit awareness. There is not a single second on this 7" spent without some type of pit cardio. The a-side is mid tempo for the warm up. Side to side. The b-side is faster for a much more violent display of pit mastery. If you hear Harris' feral snarl and you're not jumping onto someone? You better be on your hands and knees as your pit sisters and brothers spring off your back. If not? You aren't worthy of the pit. Hand in your punk badge, your career is over. You can tell people you're in mosh retirement but that's a lie. You were fired and you're never allowed back. You are the mental 53%. Peace.

-Z

Interview: Tony Molina (Tony Molina, Ovens, Caged Animal)

"Riffs."

As soon as we finished this interview Tony Molina said, "I thought it was going to be a funnier interview." The interview wasn't very funny. But how funny can one be when sitting in the presence of a guitar GOD?

So here you have it, a lot of questions about the history of Tony Molina and what's next after Dissed And Dismissed.

I just hope he doesn't make me take it down.

Painful Burning:
You're lighting a cigarette right now. Is that something you do when you're scared?

Tony Molina:
Yes.

Painful Burning:
Are you scared right now?

Tony Molina:
No.

Painful Burning:
But smoking cigarettes is something you do when you're scared?

Tony Molina:
Yes.

Painful Burning:
Which leads me to the most important question, why did you make me take down our last interview?

Tony Molina:
Because I thought that it could get me in trouble at work.

Painful Burning:
Later in the interview we'll talk more about that. For now, let's take a walk down memory lane. What are your thoughts on Dystrophy?

Tony Molina:
I don't have any.

Painful Burning:
What?

Tony Molina:
What are my thoughts?

Painful Burning:
Yeah. When you look back do you have any thoughts about the band you were in? Because that was your first hardcore band?

Tony Molina:
Yeah, it was supposed to be a hardcore band but when I hear it now it sounds like a fucking screamo band.

Painful Burning:
Why is that?

Tony Molina:
Because of my vocals and we were into Charles Bronson.

Painful Burning:
You're not down with Charles Bronson anymore?

Tony Molina:
I just don't listen to them.

Painful Burning:
What are your thoughts now on Sharp Knife?

Tony Molina:
Uh. I don't really think about Sharp Knife, man.

Painful Burning:
But if I put a Sharp Knife record on what would you think?

Tony Molina:
Why would you put on a Sharp Knife record in 2014?

Painful Burning:
Why would I? Because I'm obsessed with you. I'd put it on and ask, "Tony, what do you think about this?"

Tony Molina:
Yeah, I don't know, man.

Painful Burning:
What are your thoughts on Case Of Emergency?

Tony Molina:
Jesus Christ. Uhh. Case Of Emergency should've been a lot better than it was when I joined the band. I wrote the entire second record. Beau and I worked out all the songs. We had a pretty good set of songs and then Tom would make us add parts to them and stuff like that. He would be like, "That song's not long enough, make it longer." And I was like, "But this is how the song goes." So I didn't like that. I obviously don't have anything against Tom, Tom is tight. But I didn't like that and I didn't like how when we recorded the second seven inch, which is the only one I'm on, Tom mixed it by himself and he wouldn't let us go to the mixing for that record.

Painful Burning:
That's strange.

Tony Molina:
I know, I know.

Painful Burning:
Sounds like a real case of emergency. Is that a criticism that you hate more than anything, that your songs should be longer? Because all of your songs are so short.

Tony Molina:
I just thought for the Case Of Emergency seven inch they were better as they were.

Painful Burning:
I won't ask about The Peds or Sex Kittens.

Tony Molina:
Jesus Christ.

A candid photo of Tony Molina eating a taco.

Painful Burning:
Why do you think I'm so obsessed with you?

Tony Molina:
It's because you think I'm attractive.

Painful Burning:
No followup questions on that one. How many times have your glasses broken in 2014?

Tony Molina:
Three times.

Painful Burning:
And what were the three occasions?

Tony Molina:
The first time they broke, the first pair, fuck, I can't even remember. Oh, I stepped on them. It was after AK's wedding. Everyone was going to hangout at SK's house so I got dropped off after the wedding and I was really faded. Someone was going to pick me up to take me over to SK's. So I got home and fell asleep for five minutes. I guess my glasses fell on the floor. As soon as I got up I stepped on them. So that's the first time they broke. The second time they broke was in Boston.

Painful Burning:
On the tour with Against Me?

Tony Molina:
Yeah. I jumped out of the van and they fell off my face. When we got to the hotel, I was like, "Cool, we're at the hotel." I jumped out of the car, they fell and I stepped on them.

Painful Burning:
And the third time?

Tony Molina:
S.H.I.T. was playing at the Knockout. When they covered "I Against I" people were pitting. Some dude hit me. I didn't even see him hit me. All I know is that I was on the ground and three people were trying to pick me up and then my glasses were nowhere to be found. While they were playing I had friends looking around. When the show was over Anthony O BC found them in a place that was nowhere close to where I was. They were fucked. There was only one lens. They were completely flat.

Painful Burning:
Now if you hear that song, "I Against I," do you think "I Against Eye?"

Tony Molina:
Yes.

Painful Burning:
I know the answer to this next question but I'll ask anyways. Riffs or licks?

Tony Molina:
Riffs.

Painful Burning:
Why do you love riffs so much? You're obsessed with them.

Tony Molina:
They sound cool. They're fun. I don't know.

Painful Burning:
If you had a list of top five things that you love, would riffs be there?

Tony Molina:
No.

Painful Burning:
What?

Tony Molina:
I don't think so.

Painful Burning:
I have trouble believing that. Do you have a favorite riff of all time?

Tony Molina:
Uh. Probably a Crowbar song. The breakdown in "No More Can We Crawl." That's a riff. That's definitely a riff.

Painful Burning:
If someone were to ask you, "What's a riff?" you'd show them that?

Tony Molina:
Yeah. Or Obituary.

Painful Burning:
Why are you so enamored with ignorant music?

Tony Molina:
I'm not, I only listen to The Beatles.

Painful Burning:
That's not true.

Tony Molina:
It is true.

Painful Burning:
You love listening to E-Town Concrete.

Tony Molina:
That's true.

Painful Burning:
Most of are peers think it's silly music-

Tony Molina:
Those people aren't guitar players. Most of those people aren't actual musicians so it goes over their heads. So all they can do is comment on the singer wearing basketball shorts. They don't even know there's an insane riff. Actual musicianship. So that's probably what it is. People who don't like that probably aren't musicians. And they probably don't like music.

Painful Burning:
You're drawn to ignorant music because as a musician there's more you get out of it? Whereas most people hear it they focus on what clothing the band is wearing?

Tony Molina:
I'm not saying that, I'm saying when people make fun of bands like E. Town Concrete they're not really noticing the music.

Painful Burning:
What's your draw to it though?

Tony Molina:
I like heavy stuff. I like stuff with a groove. Bands that have cool riffs and are hard.

Painful Burning:
Why do you think people associate groove with ignorance? Do you think it's racist?

Tony Molina:
I don't know, man.

Painful Burning:
You're not going to say it's racist for the record? Classical music is all heady but you listen to dance music it's body oriented and originally from indigenous rural areas. People say body music is ignorant. Isn't that racist?

Tony Molina:
It is.

Painful Burning:
For the record?

Tony Molina:
It is. I'm agreeing with you, yeah.

Painful Burning:
Top three bands for guitar tone?

Tony Molina:
Obituary, Eyehategod, Crowbar, Fu Manchu.

Painful Burning:
That's a top four.

Tony Molina:
Yeah, that's my top four.

Painful Burning:
In your lifetime how many songs have you written? Complete songs.

Tony Molina:
At this point, probably just like two hundred, two hundred fifty.

Painful Burning:
Right now you're twenty nine, when did you write your first song?

Tony Molina:
When I was fourteen.

Painful Burning:
In fifteen years you've written about two hundred fifty songs.

Tony Molina:
I think so, yeah.

Painful Burning:
Of those, how many have been recorded?

Tony Molina:
I've recorded over a hundred songs at Bart's alone, in the studio at Bart Thurber's. Everything I write gets recorded, at the very least demoed. All the songs get recorded.

Painful Burning:
Of all those songs, do you have a top three?

Tony Molina:
My top three songs that I wrote?

Painful Burning:
Yeah.

Tony Molina:
"Ovens Theme Pt. 2," "I'm A Creep" and "Song For Friends."

Painful Burning:
Nothing written under Tony Molina?

Tony Molina:
I like the Ovens stuff more.

Tony Molina crushing riffs at a sold out show at the El Rey Theatre.

Painful Burning:
In all of your songs you talk about "you" a lot, is it always the same person?

Tony Molina:
No, never.

Painful Burning:
How many different people do you write about?

Tony Molina:
Not many. A couple. Not all of those songs are about someone in specific.

Painful Burning:
Are you sure? You sound hesitant.

Tony Molina:
Uh, yeah, man.

Painful Burning:
Now you sound confident. You recorded a bunch of demos for your next album, do you have a name yet for the next album?

Tony Molina:
Not yet. There's a couple names that we got but I'm not sure what I'm going to use.

Painful Burning:
What are the couple names?

Tony Molina:
No man, it's a surprise.

Painful Burning:
Come on, we're not going to hold you to it. What are they?

Tony Molina:
No, we're not.

Painful Burning:
Hey, come on, give them to me, Tony.

Tony Molina:
No.

Painful Burning:
Come on, please?

Tony Molina:
Dude, no.

Painful Burning:
For this interview, give one of them to me please?

Tony Molina:
No.

Painful Burning:
For your friend, I'm your friend.

Tony Molina:
I would tell you if you weren't recording this.

Painful Burning:
Please?

Tony Molina:
No One Told He.

Painful Burning:
No One Told He?

Tony Molina:
Yeah.

Painful Burning:
Okay, I stopped recording, what's another one?

Tony Molina:
No, you didn't.

Painful Burning:
You're right. Is there a different feel with these new songs?

Tony Molina:
It's more acoustic based. There's more different types of songs on it. It isn't just songs that are all the same. Not just really short pop songs that go into each other. It has a bunch of tracks that sound really different than each other.

Painful Burning:
Are you starting to mellow out? A bunch of Ovens songs are much more high energy than your newer stuff.

Tony Molina:
Things are getting slower and not as heavy. It's not going to be a high energy album.

Painful Burning:
Are you starting to get old, like you're becoming a weiner?

Tony Molina:
Yeah.

Painful Burning:
In addition to Tony Molina, how many bands are you in right now?

Tony Molina:
Six.

Painful Burning:
What are they?

Tony Molina:
There's Caged Animal, Scalped, Fraudulent Lifestyle, Provos, Opposition To Society, and Ovens if they count.

Tony Molina hanging with his pals.

Painful Burning:
There are two new Ovens seven inches coming out. One of them was recorded in 2005 and is finally being released on Melters. The other one?

Tony Molina:
The other one is eight songs from 2008. It's coming out on Catholic Guilt.

Painful Burning:
Which one is better?

Tony Molina:
The Catholic Guilt one for sure. The one from 2005... we didn't really find our sound yet. We were still trying to figure it out. I think the songs sound a little funny. It's kinda getting there. We didn't find our groove as a band until our third album that we did, which was our first done at Bart's in 2006. That's when we figured out how to track some stuff.

Painful Burning:
There's only four songs on the 2005 record, but you recorded more?

Tony Molina:
We recorded a whole album. It was ten songs.

Painful Burning:
The other six you weren't happy with?

Tony Molina:
They're not good.

Painful Burning:
Will they ever be released?

Tony Molina:
No.

Painful Burning:
Have you guys discussed doing a full discography of all the Ovens songs?

Tony Molina:
We lost the masters so I don't even know how we could even get the songs mastered for vinyl. I have no idea where the masters are for anything. I have all the actual tapes that are recorded on. I have all of them.

Painful Burning:
Just use those then.

Tony Molina:
I'd have to remix everything. I'd have to go to Bart's and I'd have to remix every Ovens song.

Painful Burning:
What you're saying is the Ovens discography will be released on vinyl as soon as you go to Bart's and do some mixing?

Tony Molina:
Remix over a hundred songs, yes.

Painful Burning:
Is there still beef between you and The Peels?

Tony Molina:
No, of course not. That was so many years ago. I don't even know.

Painful Burning:
They made you change your band from The Peels to the Ovens.

Tony Molina:
There's no beef. But we definitely hated them at the time. They're not even from SF, they moved to SF from I think Seattle, and then had our name. We'd been around longer than them and were from there. One time Beau and I saw the guitar player on the street. We were like, "Hey, there's the guy from The Peels." We were like, "Hey, man, we really like your band." He was like, "Thanks." We were like, "Have you heard there's a band from the Bay Area called The Peels?" He was like, "Yeah, our lawyer got in contact with them. You guys aren't in that band, are you?" We were like, "No."

Painful Burning:
So passive.

Tony Molina:
Yeah.

Painful Burning:
That was your opportunity to tell him off.

Tony Molina:
What do you say? I don't know. I didn't know what to say. I feel bad for that band because they got signed to Capitol. There was an article that I read in the SF Weekly or something about how they were in LA drinking from the mini bar in the hotel like, "Fuck yeah, we fucking rock 'n' roll." And their album didn't even ever come out. They just broke up. That sucks, man.

Painful Burning:
That's what happens if you fuck with Tony Molina.

Tony Molina:
I feel bad. No, man.

Painful Burning:
You don't think that's karma for what they did to you?

Tony Molina:
Obviously they were the better band because we didn't get signed to Capitol.

Painful Burning:
Not yet. There's just a couple more questions. How many years did you work at the movie theater, The Vogue?

Tony Molina:
Almost eleven years.

Painful Burning:
What was your job title?

Tony Molina:
You don't really have a job title, you just have to do everything there. A lot of the times I'd be there by myself all day long.

Painful Burning:
When you say everything, you mean you set up the movie, made popcorn...

Tony Molina:
Yeah, you show up. You get ready to open. And then you put the show in. You do the tickets and the concessions and start the movie. When the movie is over you sweep the auditorium, come back out and put another show in. You just have to do everything.

Painful Burning:
As a result, did you like movies a lot?

Tony Molina:
No. I mean, I like movies but I only worked there because my friend got me the job a long time ago.

Painful Burning:
Why did you stay there for eleven years?

Tony Molina:
I don't know.

Painful Burning:
It's a long time. Were you just comfortable?

Tony Molina:
Sometimes. I don't know. I don't know why I stayed there for so long.

Painful Burning:
Which leads to this next question, did the customers ever get on your nerves?

Tony Molina:
Yes.

Painful Burning:
Anything in particular?

Tony Molina flails his arms.

Painful Burning:
You don't want to answer this?

Tony Molina:
Yes, for the same reason before when I made you take the other interview down. It's the same thing.

Painful Burning:
I don't know, I didn't think you cared anymore because you don't work there. It seems like you'd have a lot of down time when working, what would you-

Tony Molina flails his arms.

Painful Burning:
You can't talk about that?

Tony Molina:
No.

Painful Burning:
Tell me about the squirrel.

Tony Molina:
Are you fucking kidding me? No! I can't. Dude.

Painful Burning:
Okay, how does The Vogue play into the history of the Ovens?

Tony Molina:
That's where I met AK. My first shift was with him. The first thing he said was, "Do you like Dinosaur Jr.?" Me and him were already buds the first day I met him. We just listened to all of the same music. He started playing guitar with us shortly after that. Then we got Max a job there too. I don't know. Pretty much everybody in the Ovens worked there, except for Beau.

Painful Burning:
That's funny because the first time I saw Ovens you guys played a Dinosaur Jr. cover. What were all the covers you guys did?

Tony Molina:
When we first started we'd always do Replacements songs. We did Flaming Lips covers a lot too.

Painful Burning:
Which songs?

Tony Molina:
We would always do "Color Me Impressed." We used to do "Bastards Of Young."

Painful Burning:
Do you think you could mention all the songs Ovens ever covered?

Tony Molina:
There's so many. It would take me a while. But a lot. Ovens did so many covers.

Painful Burning:
Then what about under Tony Molina, what covers have you done?

Tony Molina:
We did "Everything Flows" by Teenage Fanclub and "Jar Of Cardinals" by Guided By Voices. We covered "Wild One" by Thin Lizzy, "Soldier Of Fortune" by Thin Lizzy. "Fade To Black" by Metallica. "To Live Is To Die" by Metallica. "Pimple Zoo" by Guided By Voices. We did a Waste Management song. The first song on the first seven inch, "Dead Weight." We covered "Violence Sucks" by Larm. "I'm Broken" by Pantera. We did the Leeway intro.

Tony Molina in his natural habitat.

Painful Burning:
Plus the two recorded ones, "Orion" by Metallica and "Wandering Boy Poet" by Guided By Voices. You told me recently you got out of the hospital, what happened?

Tony Molina:
I got 5150'd. I was just having crazy suicidal shit so I got taken to the hospital in Santa Clara for three days.

Painful Burning:
Is that something you've been dealing with your whole life?

Tony Molina:
Depression? Yeah, absolutely. It's not the first time I've been 5150'd.

Painful Burning:
How does that affect your songwriting? When you're really down is it easier to write?

Tony Molina:
When I was younger it was but I don't know about now.

Painful Burning:
Now it's more of an obstacle?

Tony Molina:
Yeah, I don't know. I used to write a lot more songs when I was younger. I definitely don't write as many now. I don't have any big wave of creativity after my recent hospital stay. I didn't get out of there and write a hundred songs or anything like that.

Painful Burning:
It's not an inspirational thing.

Tony Molina:
Yeah.

Painful Burning:
No one I know is as good at guitar as you, I'm just wondering if the two do have anything to do with one another.

Tony Molina:
I really don't know. I think when I was younger... when I was really trying to start the Ovens and get it going and be a real band. When we started out, it was just like, "Let's see if we can record something." But in 2003 I was pushing it. I was really down at the time. I think the reason why I wrote a lot of songs was because being depressed and being broke, you got nothing really going on, I think I just did music because I didn't have anything else to do with myself. I do know I've struggled with depression for the past eleven years or so. A lot of the songs were written in not good times. I don't know if they have anything to do with each other.

Painful Burning:
When you hear about other musicians dealing with such fragrant depression like Townes Van Zandt-

Tony Molina:
You shouldn't compare me to him, man. Shouldn't do that.

Painful Burning:
When you hear about other musicians though, is there something comforting in knowing they have to deal with the same type of situations?

Tony Molina:
All my favorite songwriters. Townes Van Zandt, Gene Clark, Chris Bell, ya know? A lot of my favorite songwriters have problems or whatever. But I don't know if there's a correlation.

Painful Burning:
At this point the interview is over. Are you more or less scared than before?

Tony Molina:
More.

-Z

Dark Blue - Dark Blue 7" (Katorga Works) (2014)

We are obsessed with the arbitrary. I work at a restaurant that's primary focus is pizza. One of the frequently asked questions I get is, "How many slices come in the pizza?"
To which I respond, "The pizza is twelve inches. The size of a record."
"How many slices are there?"
"Are you wondering about the size of the pizza?"
"Yeah."
How many times the pizza is divided, i.e. the number of slices, is completely arbitrary. Two people being able to finish the pizza has nothing to do with how many times the pizza is divided. The pizza is one hundred thirteen square inches. If there are six slices, each slice is nearly nineteen square inches. If there are eight slices, each slice is nearly fourteen square inches. The more times the pizza is divided the less area each slice contains.

The amount of slices is completely arbitrary. I'm sure you're thinking of exceptions, but none of those matter. Your exceptions are just as arbitrary. We are obsessed with the arbitrary. Don't worry, this is all leading to Dark Blue and their seven inch on Katorga Works. Dark Blue aren't arbitrary. What is arbitrary are the vocals in music. But we are obsessed with the vocals in music. Eighty five percent of music criticism is all about one thing: whether the criticism giver likes or dislikes the vocals. You'd be hard pressed to think of bands you absolutely abhor but love the singing. That isn't so with guitars or drums or whatever else makes up the music. Dark Blue has one of the best vocalists: does anything else matter? Do you pretend to care about the size of the pizza when I'm telling you very factually that the amount of slices is exactly what you're looking for?

There are just two songs here. I mean slices of pizza. I'm lost somewhere in the analogy. But my point is, we are obsessed with the arbitrary. I used to be obsessed with Clockcleaner but they broke up. Now their singer, John Sharkey III, sings in Dark Blue. So now I'm obsessed with Dark Blue. And soon enough you'll be obsessed with Dark Blue. I'm sure the bassist, Andrew Mackie Nelson, wants me to tell you how amazing both songs are and more specifically that the a-side is a classic song. A classic song? Why would I say something like that? Instead I'll just let you wallow in the arbitrary. Dark Blue is completely arbitrary. There is nothing arbitrary about Dark Blue. Dark Blue is lovely. I love Dark Blue.

-Z

Ninos Du Brasil - Novos Mistérios (Hospital) (2014)

It's the end of July so of course my room is hot. I wanted to use the word "sweltering" but that sounds a bit superlative so I'll refrain. The one window that could provide ventilation to the room is closed because the window screen will erratically pop open. A cooler room would be nice but a buggyer room would be worse. In the recent past I went to the beach at two in the morning and drank a bottle of wine with some strangers I met near closing time at a nearby bar. Of course by the time I got back home, closer to four in the morning, my keys were not in my pocket. They were nowhere in the car. They were left at the beach with the empty bottle of wine. So I had to break into my room through the window screen. And that is why the window screen will erratically pop open.

Now here I am at seventeen past two in the a.m. reminiscing about that night on the beach. The weirdest part was on the ride back the guy sitting next to me kept trying to pull my pants down and give me a blow job. I told him I wasn't interested but that didn't stop him from asking me repeatedly for permission. "Just let me put it in my mouth for a little bit." No, and no and no and no. He apologized later for how drunk he was. I saw him tonight at the same bar but neither him nor I made any attempt at a greeting. A couple hours later I'm back in my room thinking about the dislodged window screen and that night at the beach. I wonder if someone found those keys. And it's just a matter of time until they've tried enough locked doors that they'll stumble upon mine and find me here. In this "sweltering" hot room.

They'd open the door and say, "Finally! But hey, this room is far too hot. The music you're listening too is very appropriate though. What is this?"
"I'm listening to Ninos Du Brasil's new album, Novos Mistérios."
"Never heard of them."
"Me either until this album."
"It sounds like Brazilian samba music."
"Yeah, but they're Italian and I guess the subgenre of samba they make is called batucada."
"Never heard of that."
"Me either until this album."
"But... it sounds like electronic music."
"Yeah, it's techno music I guess."
"What is techno music?"
"You know, I don't really know. I remember it was a catch-all term in the nineties for any type of electronic music."
"Oh yeah, like Chemical Brothers or The Crystal Method."
"This doesn't really sound like either of those."

They'd stand there in silence. I'd sit here in silence. My naked back sticking to the chair. Bugs would be flying into my room. The silence wasn't really silence, we were listening to Novos Mistérios together. The stranger would enter. He would say, "Just let me put it in my mouth for a little bit." I'd cave in. We'd keep listening to Novos Mistérios together. And the window screen would pop open.

-Z

Dick Diver - New Name Blues (Fruits & Flowers) (2014)

Stream the entire album via Bandcamp.

Members of Total Control and The UV Race making country tinged indie pop that gets compared to The Go-Betweens a lot. The first song is an original and the second is a cover. I guess I need to listen to more of The Go-Betweens.

-Z

Wish I Was Here (Focus Features) (2014)

I had no intentions of seeing Wish I Was Here but I did because my bae was begging me. So I caved in and saw it. Now, before I go on I must mention, I haven't seen Veronica Mars, the other major crowdsourced feature. But Wish I Was Here sets a terrible precedent for what is to be expected from future Kickstarter films.

The first half of the movie is seems pretty standard. Zach Braff is focused on himself and doesn't understand why the entire world isn't focused on himself as well. I know people are going to think its impressive, but I wasn't wowed at all by the one-shot-scene of him crying in bed repeating the line, "I am special, I am special, I am special," for ten minutes. 80% of the scene is his face in a pillow. Why is that "impressive"? Then it cuts to him wiping his eyes and leaving his house. He hands a homeless man a thousand dollars and winks to the camera. This meta kind of behavior is only the beginning.

At around the sixty minute mark of the movie, Zach Braff turns to the camera and says, "Sorry to interrupt Wish I Was Here, but as promised, here's a list of all the people that donated $20 or more to this movie. He puts on his reading glasses and proceeds to read a list of names for twenty five minutes! After a while he starts reading it in funny voices, some of which were VERY racially insensitive. Also, it was really gross how Zach Braff would sometimes read a female sounding name and proceed to lick his lips and say, "Cough, that's a woman, cough." I'm not sure what he was hinting at?

Okay, so as if the movie couldn't get any worse we find out a man donated $20,000,000 to the kickstarter and thusly was able to act in 1,000 frames of the movie as Zach Braff's character. This translates to roughly 44 seconds. So we see Zach Braff, then we see Kate Hudson, and when it cuts back we see a new man dressed up as Zach Braff. This was VERY distracting. He mumbled all of his lines and kept blotting his sweaty head. Kate Hudson acted circles around him and should get an Oscar nod for how well she kept the scene moving. At one point the guy looks at his phone and says, "Gotta get back to Wall Street." This was said as the ACTOR not the CHARACTER! The movie continued and it took me a while to realize Zach Braff was back (his acting wasn't much better than the banker's.)

So finally the movie is over and I turn to my bae like, "Let's get out of here, please?" Then she turns to me like, "Wait, the movie isn't over." And I'm all, "Ugh, what else could possibly happen?" Then the inconceivable happens. The entire cast of Scrubs comes out and gets on their knees and starts begging. "Please, please, please donate money to our Kickstarter? We want to make another season of Scrubs." I eyed the room and everybody looked skeptical. Then Zach Braff takes out a script and hands it to the camera man and said, without any hint of irony, "This script of the new season will change your life." That Shins song plays and the screen turns black. Lights up, and the entire room is on their phones donating money to the Kickstarter!

When we left the theater a homeless man was asking everybody for money. People looked puzzled, like they were having a social conundrum. Then the homeless guy pulled off his wig and revealed: it's Zach Braff. Everybody took photos with him and kept handing him money for lunch. I had bae pinch me because it all felt so dream-like. But it was real. Please, please, please do not see Wish I Was Here!

-Z

Ovens - 7" (Melters) (2014)

Stream the entire 7" here via Bandcamp.

I hate to be "that guy" but it's so obvious that all the struggles between Palestine and Israel would cease to exist if they all listened to the Ovens/Tony Molina. I know that sounds like an unsubstantiated grandiose statement but it's objectively true. Sorry. It's just sad the mainstream media never reports on anything Tony Molina related. If they did, world peace would be something that could be obtained not only within our lifetime but within the remaining days of 2014. Every religious conflict could easily be resolved by Tony Molina's riffs. Who cares about a higher power and what they want from our measly lives when Tony Molina blazes so bright on his guitar? Jesus walked on water. You know what also walks on water? A boat. Tony Molina walks on six strings. Ever heard of a boat playing guitar? I sure haven't. And I promise you, look through the archives of the BBC, none of this has ever been reported by the mainstream media.

To the educated eye, there are a few problems with what's going on here. For instance, the Ovens haven't been active for a long time. There's also the fact that Dissed And Dismissed was initially released in 2013 with the next album unannounced as of now. I'm gonna pull the rug from under your mind. The Ovens recorded in 2005 with Kurt Bloch of the Fastbacks. Even though a full length's worth of songs were recorded, they weren't happy with how it came out. Nine years later, they scraped the best four songs together and are releasing it via Melters on the 7" format! Rejoice, for all of our secular prayers have been answered.

With lyrics like, "And now I'm bored and I'm ashamed because I fell down the stairs again. And I wanted you to know that since you left this shit happens all the time," you'll want to hug Tony Molina. All I'm saying is, how can you shoot somebody with a rifle when you're too busy hugging Tony Molina? It's a question worth exploring.

If you value human life you'd stock up on this 7" immediately and drop them all over the impoverished regions of this planet. Tony Molina is our only hope.

-Z

Interview: Alex Jarson (Body of Light)

"I think it's obvious that I [had the bigger penis.]"

Sam Shiflett looked at me dead in the eyes and said, "You must see Body Of Light." We were in the basement of The Church On York and Some Ember had just finished playing. Mr. Shiflett has never guided me wrong in the past so I did it. I went upstairs and watched Body Of Light. And Body Of Light was good. Since then I've listened to their album Volontà di Amore regularly. A lot of punks seem to be putting down the guitar and picking up the synthesizer. Most of it is mediocre at best. Body Of Light is exceptional. So when their most recent show got announced at The Complex with Some Ember I made sure to come. And I came equipped with questions for Alex Jarson, the singer of the duo. He was expecting a serious interview and I gave him something so much more.

Listen to Body Of Light's Volontà di Amore via Bandcamp here.

Painful Burning:
When I propositioned you about doing this interview you seemed very hesitant with doing it solo, was there something you were afraid of?

Alex Jarson:
No, I respect my brother's opinions on the music and I want him to have his voice too.

Painful Burning:
That kind of leads me to my next question. How did you two meet?

Alex Jarson:
My mom met my father and some things happened. They got hot and heavy. We both were born.

Painful Burning:
Okay, but very specifically, what was your first memory of meeting Andrew?

Alex Jarson:
I remember thinking, "I'm going to have to share my toys with this kid." But also being really excited about it.

Painful Burning:
What's the age difference?

Alex Jarson:
About three years.

Painful Burning:
So you guys were friends growing up?

Alex Jarson:
Yeah.

Painful Burning:
I had a younger sibling growing up and I recall that we would bathe together. Did the two of you ever bathe together?

Alex Jarson:
I think there was some bathing together.

Painful Burning:
Do you remember anything specific from it?

Alex Jarson:
I remember turning the bathtub super hot. Which is super fucked up now thinking about it. But it's definitely a memory.

Painful Burning:
Do you two mess with each other now like that?

Alex Jarson:
Not really. Actually, we're pretty good friends. We used to pick on each other a lot when we were younger, sibling wars.

Painful Burning:
You're the older brother though, so did you do more of the picking on?

Alex Jarson:
Yeah, of course.

Painful Burning:
What's a specific picking on thing that you can recall?

Alex Jarson:
There's a home movie that we watch sometimes. It's from our third trip to Disneyland. We were taking the quintessential picture with Mickey Mouse. We're posing and it's really friendly. Then all of a sudden I take out a rubber knife I got from the Pirates of the Caribbean store and I put it up to my brother's neck and mimic cutting his throat. Mickey was just like, "Nuh uh uh, don't do that." It was super awkward. That's definitely one of the memories I have of picking on him.

Painful Burning:
How old were you then?

Alex Jarson:
I think I was eight.

Painful Burning:
That's dark. I don't know if you'd remember back then, but when you guys would bathe together and stuff, did one of you obviously have a bigger penis?

Alex Jarson:
I think it's obvious that I did.

Painful Burning:
Yeah?

Alex Jarson:
My wife seems to think the opposite.

Painful Burning:
Oh no.

Alex's wife, Erica, is listening to the interview and shaking her head.

Erica Jarson:
Your brother is going to be fucking pissed.

Alex Jarson:
I know, he's going to be so pissed.

Painful Burning:
Maybe these are the type of questions you were worried about answering without him being here?

Alex Jarson:
Yeah. I wasn't sure what you were going to ask me. Actually, I thought this was going to be a little more serious. I don't know why I would think that with questions coming from you.

Body Of Light playing Pacific Pop Festival. They blue my mind.

Painful Burning:
That was a mistaken thought.

Alex Jarson:
What have I gotten myself into?

Painful Burning:
A real important interview. Speaking of which, here's the next important question. Do you and your brother ever discuss the will?

Alex Jarson:
The will?

Painful Burning:
The potential will that your parents will have for you guys?

Alex Jarson:
We haven't discussed it yet.

Painful Burning:
Now that your mind is on it, who do you think is gonna get more stuff?

Alex Jarson:
I would assume it would be equal. My brother is the nicer brother so maybe he'll get more.

Painful Burning:
Do you think your parents love him more than you?

Alex Jarson:
I don't think so.

Painful Burning:
You think it's equal?

Alex Jarson:
Who knows.

Painful Burning:
I have some music related questions coming up, but one last family related one. Have you or your brother ever kissed your dad on the lips?

Alex Jarson:
Uh, no, I don't think so.

Painful Burning:
Do you know why I might be asking about this?

Alex Jarson:
No, I'm not sure.

Painful Burning:
Do you know a guy by the name of Speedboat?

Alex Jarson:
He outed me, he outed me so bad... Yes I know him.

Painful Burning:
Because there's a text you sent him about how you were unsure why I kissed my dad on the lips. Do you have more clarity about it at this point?

A private conversation between Alex Jarson and Speedboat.

Alex Jarson:
Yes. I approve of it now. It took me a little bit to approve it.

Painful Burning:
What does your brother think about kissing fathers on the lips?

Alex Jarson:
He'd probably find it funny. I don't think he'd care.

Painful Burning:
More into the music stuff, what's up with this band Dead Air?

Alex Jarson:
Oh. No. How did you even find it? How is that even possible. I don't know what that is.

Painful Burning:
You used to sing in it, right?

Alex Jarson:
Yeah. I used to sing in a band called Dead Air. It was one of my first hardcore bands. Back in 2007, 2008.

Painful Burning:
That's not that long ago.

Alex Jarson:
I guess not. But it seems long.

Painful Burning:
You seem embarrassed about it.

Alex Jarson:
It's not something I would listen to ever nowadays.

Painful Burning:
Most bands are traditionally guitars and drums. Why did you guys start a synthesizer based band?

Alex Jarson:
All of our friends bought synths so we all started listening to electronic type music. Eventually I bought one and messed around with it in 2010, 2011 maybe.

Painful Burning:
And that's when you started Body Of Light with Andrew?

Alex Jarson:
No, he wasn't in the project in the beginning. It was just me. It was just me trying to record on my own. I was always in bands but would get frustrated with the lack of control. So I just tried it on my own. It evolved from there.

Painful Burning:
Then is the control thing not so much of an issue because you and your brother can communicate so well?

Alex Jarson:
Definitely. It's definitely easier. If we get frustrated with each other we can just say it outright without it being a big blowout fight or something. We can get through it pretty easily.

Painful Burning:
It seems like you could read one another much better than other people.

Alex Jarson:
Yeah, definitely.

Painful Burning:
But if you do get into an argument it might be a lot heavier because you won't hold back since you've known each other for so long?

Alex Jarson:
That's true, but if it ever gets really heated it's pretty fast and then it blows over quickly. It could get potentially bad but it hasn't yet, so I'm glad about that.

Painful Burning:
For your upcoming songs that you're writing do you think there will be a strong Alanis Morissette influence?

Alex Jarson:
Why do you say that?

Painful Burning:
Why do you think I'm asking about Alanis Morissette?

Alex Jarson:
I think you either talked to my wife or my brother and found out that the first CD I ever bought was Alanis Morissete's Jagged Little Pill.

Painful Burning:
It's got some great singles on it for the time.

Alex Jarson:
I loved it. "Ironic." It's a great hit.

Painful Burning:
For a radio song, "You Oughta Know," has a high energy punk feel to it.

Alex Jarson:
She's badass.

Painful Burning:
Do you still listen to her?

Alex Jarson:
No I don't, unfortunately. I couldn't get into her later stuff.

Painful Burning:
I had no idea she had later stuff. So for the record, you're saying there will be little or no influence by Alanis Morissette?

Alex Jarson:
No, there won't be any influence from her.

Isn't it ironic that I included this photo in the interview?

Painful Burning:
What is the next thing you are working on right now?

Alex Jarson:
We're working on an LP. We've only written one and a half songs. I can't even really say what that's like. We're playing the new song tonight.

Painful Burning:
What's the song?

Alex Jarson:
There's no title yet.

Painful Burning:
For the sake of the interview what's the name?

Alex Jarson:
I can't even think about a name right now.

Painful Burning:
What do you write on the set list?

Alex Jarson:
We don't have a set list, it's just in our heads.

Painful Burning:
Do you have any plans for the record?

Alex Jarson:
We don't have any plans yet. We're just feeling it out.

Painful Burning:
Come on, give me the dirt.

Alex Jarson:
There's nothing yet.

Painful Burning:
You can't give me any dirt?

Alex Jarson:
I have no dirt.

Painful Burning:
What's your role with Ascetic House?

Alex Jarson:
We've been involved since the beginning. It's a core group of friends that were doing music in Arizona that has expanded to New York now, all over the West Coast, Europe as well.

Painful Burning:
In addition to releasing music on it, do you guys take an active role in it?

Alex Jarson:
Yeah, it's a big group of people that are active. There's no heads to it or anyone that runs it. It's just a group of people. Whatever makes sense at the time.

Painful Burning:
What significance does the phrase, "Weightless, endless, faithless," mean to you?

Alex Jarson:
Nooo. I think it holds significance to my high school self but at this point it's just...

Painful Burning:
There's no shame in an AFI tattoo with that phrase on it. I used to love AFI.

Alex Jarson:
They were my favorite band growing up. I used to beg my parents to go to shows all the time, from the age of eight and up. I remember I really wanted to go to this Offspring concert with The Living End and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. They finally agreed to take me and I went. They were handing out Nitro Records compilation CDs that had AFI's "A Single Second." I would just play that song on repeat. The harmonies were the best to me. I loved them.

Painful Burning:
Davey Havok and Nick 13.

Alex Jarson:
Exactly. At that point I bought every AFI CD I could find and I loved it. I would go to ever AFI show and would wait until the band came out and try to talk to them. It's mildly embarrassing.

Painful Burning:
That's not embarrassing, AFI was awesome.

AFI playing "A Single Second" at a completely unknown date.

Alex Jarson:
I loved them. I can't get into them now as much. But it had a place at that time in my life.

Painful Burning:
I feel like the third record holds up the best. The one with "A Single Second." It's their most aggressive album.

Alex Jarson:
Shut Your Mouth And Open Your Eyes.

Painful Burning:
You know the name.

Alex Jarson:
I know. I have every AFI record in every color. I have the whole collection.

Painful Burning:
So who would you rather tour with at this point, AFI or Alanis Morissette?

Alex Jarson:
Definitely AFI. I would tour with AFI just for the sheer fact that me being a kid fantasizing about playing on stage with AFI. I would download every AFI live video I could find on Kazaa. I thought it was insane. Kids were stage diving, I never saw that before.

Painful Burning:
There's a reason why out of all those hardcore bands of that era they got to be the biggest. How many hardcore bands have you seen that have energy like them?

Alex Jarson:
And melodies that people can latch onto.

Painful Burning:
When I've seen you guys, you have a good energy live. Most bands are so boring live, because they probably don't have a background in punk and hardcore.

Alex Jarson:
I was thinking about that the other day. A lot of the bands that really enjoy tend to have either listened to punk all their life or come from punk/hardcore. They bring a certain energy to the table. I like bands that are really cold live too, but sometimes it can get really boring if they don't push that limit.

Painful Burning:
At that point you can just sit at home and listen to the record.

Alex Jarson:
I like it when bands engage the crowd a little bit and get the crowd to interact.

-Z

Joyce Manor - Never Hungover Again (Epitaph) (2014)

Am I being paranoid? Ever since I published the iconic interview with Joyce Manor bassist, Matt Ebert, I have felt something on my trail. At first I thought it was Christian Slater. But no, I talked to his publicist and she vehemently insisted that he wasn't angry about his Never Hungover Again studio cameo being discussed. Then it became so very apparent. Epitaph's lawyers. We've had troubles in the past but they've kept their behavior cordial. Until now. Or rather, until earlier today.

Let's start with yesterday. Yesterday I went to my usual coffee shop. The barista recognized me as I walked in. She spun around and made an iced coffee. She handed it to me with a big smile on her face. This was weird because I had never ordered an iced coffee before. The iced coffee was $3.50, opposed to the usual $2.50 spent on a small hot coffee. She looked so happy though I didn't mind spending an extra dollar. She kept smiling. But there was something behind the smile that was unnerving. There was fear behind that smile.

I sipped the iced coffee slowly. It tasted normal. And by normal I mean, it tasted very delicious. I licked my lips and continued on with my day. Yesterday finished which leads to today. Earlier today I went back to the same coffee shop. Right when I walked in I saw the same barista spin around and make an iced coffee. A different worker approached me, "What can I get for you?"
"A small coffee."
She turned around to get the small coffee. The smiling barista handed her an iced coffee.
"What is this?"
"His order!"
"No, he wanted a small coffee."
The smiling barista no longer smiled. She looked at me. I looked at her. I paid $2.50 for my coffee. I left. It was outside I began to feel guilty. Should I have lied and forked over an extra dollar just to keep her happy? Why did she think I wanted the iced coffee? Was she confusing me with another handsome customer? I spun around to apologize about the incident, I felt really bad for making her feel so bad. But what I saw through the window will blow your mind. A shadowy figure in a trench coat and fedora yelled at her. Tears fell from her quivering face. It was then that I noticed his t-shirt under the trench coat. He was wearing a Voodoo Glow Skulls t-shirt with a pin that said, "Not My President." Yes, the man was an Epitaph lawyer bent on revenge!

My whole body was shaking but I continued to stare. One of my best friends growing up had a deaf mother so from her I learned how to read lips. So I read the lawyer's lips. What he said might frighten you, because it sure as Hell frightened me! "Why didn't you get him to drink the iced coffee today? He drank it yesterday. Yesterday the iced coffee wasn't poisoned. Today the iced coffee today was poisoned. We want to kill him." It was then that I ran to my car and drove home.

And now here I am writing this review. Those filthy Epitaph lawyers trying to kill me. Well, I know they're reading this so I'll plainly state it: If you want to kill me, come get me. You know exactly where I live. Come destroy me like you have promised so many times. But no matter how many times you kill me, it won't stop the putrid stench that emits from your demonic pores. You are pure evil and one day the world will learn of your scum huffing ways.

So anyways, Never Hungover Again. In classic Joyce Manor fashion we have ten songs in nineteen minutes. Nineteen minutes rife with infectious melody. It's so catchy that you might want to call the CDCC immediately. Nineteen minutes overflowing with hooks. There are so many hooks you might think it was recorded in a meat freezer. Nineteen minutes spilling over the edges with pop. There is so much pop you might think they are from the midwest. Never Hungover Again might not be as overtly angsty as their past recordings but the angst is still there. But it's more like sentimental angst. An examination of yesterdays. "Falling In Love Again" is 2014's "Say It Ain't So." Very epic. I would say I'm excited for where Joyce Manor is going but they're already here and Never Hungover Again is proof of that. I just hope none of them die in the crossfire between Epitaph's lawyers and myself. Am I being paranoid?

-Z

Creative Adult - "Deep End" b/w "Momentary Lapse" (Run For Cover) (2014)

Tonight I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that said, "Sarcasm: Just one of the many services I offer." At first I thought this was just another, "Can't Sleep Clowns Will Eat Me," type t-shirt. But then I started doing some heavy thinking. Is the t-shirt itself sarcastic in tone? And if so, what is the message then? That sarcasm is not one of the many services the wearer is offering? If so, wouldn't a better version be a t-shirt that says, "Sarcasm: I have no idea what this word means, can you please describe it to me?"

Creative Adult is a band who's name is tongue in cheek. It's a goof on adults who might say, "Hey, ya know, I'm a grown up who thinks outside the box. I am a creative adult!" That's my best interpretation. I have a couple Creative Adult t-shirts. I wonder if anybody at their job has seen them and done some heavy thinking. Once they got home they wrote about it on their incredible literary blog where they discussed what sarcasm is. Uh, if any of you come across that blog and more specifically, that post, please let me know.

Otherwise, check out these two Creative Adult songs and pretend sarcasm never existed. There's nothing facetious about my like of "Deep End" and "Momentary Lapse." With the utmost sincerity I'll say that "Momentary Lapse" is my favorite Creative Adult song yet. It wasn't on Psychic Mess but it should've been. I forgive you, Creative Adult. Seriously. I won't hold it against you. Yeah, the song could be a minute shorter but my opinion doesn't really matter, does it? I'm not a creative adult. But if my opinion did matter I'd suggest that they play around with the moody synth more often because it gels really well with their sound. "Deep End" is a great upbeat single. I promise. I'll leave you on one sarcastic statement: Whatever you do, please do NOT listen to Creative Adult!

-Z

Total Control - Typical System (Iron Lung) (2014)

Stream the entire album via Bandcamp here.

Typical System was my most anticipated record of 2014. Total Control released two of my favorite songs this decade, "Carpet Rash" and "Scene From A Marriage." Both songs can be listened to on repeat endlessly without a hint of lethargy. Typical System, a more consistent album than Henge Beat, doesn't have a "Carpet Rash" or "Scene From A Marriage." There's less loud guitars and more smoothed out synth in the direction of their other project, Lace Curtain. "Carpet Rash" is about having sex with an android. Typical System feels like drinking a vodka Red Bull out of a martini glass with an android. The energy is there but the emotion feels clinical. In each track the vocals sound like they're being sung at the song. Typical System is exactly the type of contemporary post-punk I'd expect to hear blaring from a loft space in Bushwick. That's not what I was expecting from Total Control, but it's still Total Control and Total Control is in total control of my speakers.

-Z

Morgan Delt - Morgan Delt (Trouble In Mind) (2014)

Remember those Fridays when you were in high school? You'd schlep your slack jawed excitement through campus all day waiting for the final bell so you could go to Andy's house and light up a blunt with your friends? Black lights, lava lamps and Halo? Everything was beautiful and nothing was hurt? Then you grew up and smoking weed was absolutely awful? Getting high became a chore where all life's problems were enlarged under a smoky microscope? Your adult friends sat slumped in a living room watching some so-bad-that-it's-good movie? You never understood people getting paranoid while high but now all you did was get paranoid about your life and what you needed to do with it when you were high? So you vowed to never smoke again and just stick to drinking because beer did the exact opposite, it helped you ignore your life and its many shortcomings? Remember that?

If so then you'll enjoy the nostalgic happiness Morgan Delt creates. It'll remind you of everything good about getting high. Warm, hazy and radiant. Sometimes you need to escape. Just like Morgan Delt sings, "Reality is a let down."

-Z

Interview: Matt Ebert (Joyce Manor)

"[Christian Slater] crushed the beer, pissed on the Forbes... I don't know why. He said, 'Y'all ready to knock this shit out?' And he went in, put headphones on, killed the take, and then left."

Matt Ebert is a great guy. I'm not just saying that because I live with him. I'm not just saying that because I hope he doesn't tell me to take this interview down like others have done in the past. I'm not just saying Matt Ebert is a great guy because his band Joyce Manor is awesome. I say it because he is a great guy.

Joyce Manor is releasing a new full length on July 22. I begged them to release the record a week later to coincide with my birthday but they never properly responded to my pleads. So this was a perfect time to sit down and ask Matt Ebert about Christian Slater spontaneously showing up at their recording studio, his not-so-secret juggalo past, and most importantly: why Epitaph is releasing their lawyers on me.

Matt Ebert is a great guy. He might try to deny it out of modesty. But no matter what he says, Matt Ebert is a great guy who is deathly afraid of me.


"Catalina Fight Song" is the first single from Never Hungover Again directed by Adam Papagan. The rest of the album can be streamed via NPR here.

Painful Burning:
What are you so afraid of?

Matt Ebert:
What am I most afraid of?

Painful Burning:
In this interview.

Matt Ebert:
I'm not afraid of you, Zed. Let's just set the record straight.

Painful Burning:
There's not a certain question you're afraid I'm going to ask you?

Matt Ebert:
No.

Painful Burning:
Then why do you keep looking at the questions?

Matt Ebert:
Because I like to know what's coming up. But I can't read your handwriting so it's alright.

Painful Burning:
What's your opinion on the ruling that juggalos are a gang?

Matt Ebert:
I think that ICP is really cool for trying to go after the FBI. Juggalos get a lot of negative press but they're a very inclusive, very welcoming group of people.

Painful Burning:
Are you saying this because you would consider playing the Gathering of the Juggalos?

Matt Ebert:
I would. I don't know if the rest of my band would agree, but I would do it in a heart beat.

Painful Burning:
I won't ever ask if you've ever been a juggalo.

Matt Ebert:
The answer would be yes.

Painful Burning:
I'm not going to ask that. I don't know if there's any validity to this, but when you recorded your new album I heard something happened with Christian Slater. What specifically happened with Christian Slater during your recording?

Matt Ebert:
What did you hear?

Painful Burning:
I heard that Barry was having trouble with a take and Christian Slater walked in with a beer in one hand and-

Matt Ebert:
-a Forbes magazine in the other hand.

Painful Burning:
Yeah.

Matt Ebert:
He came in right off the street.

Painful Burning:
Is that true?

Matt Ebert:
Yeah.

Painful Burning:
What happened when he came into the studio?

Matt Ebert:
He crushed the beer, pissed on the Forbes... I don't know why. He said, "Y'all ready to knock this shit out?" And he went in, put headphones on, killed the take, and then left.

Painful Burning:
What did he say into the microphone?

Matt Ebert:
Nobody knows. But the vocal melody and everything was perfect.

Painful Burning:
Did you guys stay in contact with him or did he leave before you could get his information?

Matt Ebert:
We tried to get in touch with his publicist to thank him but we've never been able to get in touch with him again.

Painful Burning:
Only in Los Angeles, right?

Matt Ebert:
Yeah.


Matt Ebert and his infamous lips.

Painful Burning:
Earlier you mentioned that Epitaph's lawyers would take me down. Why did you say that?

Matt Ebert:
I think most people in the business know the reputation that you have. I know a lot of lawyers. I don't consider myself to be in the biz, but I do know a lot of lawyers that want to take you down. Because of the blog that you run.

Painful Burning:
For the readers that might not be in the biz, what is this reputation? Because I don't know what you're talking about.

Matt Ebert:
Really? You don't know what I'm talking about?

Painful Burning:
I have no idea.

Matt Ebert:
Really?

Painful Burning:
I mean, I have an inkling, but I'd love to hear it from those lips.

Matt Ebert:
These lips?

Painful Burning:
Yeah, those beautiful Matt Ebert lips.

Matt Ebert:
Well. I know that some of the things that people have said about you with plagiarism. That you're kind of a Mencia.

Painful Burning:
Okay...

Matt Ebert:
You've been known to be a bit of a Mencia.

Painful Burning:
I'm not going to cut the interview here but that's a ridiculous claim. The Carlos Mencia of the music blog industry. I don't know why people are saying that. That's ridiculous. And if Epitaph's lawyers want to fight me over plagiarism they need to sue Rolling Stone for being so damn easy to plagiarize. We've had a lot of the same parallel thoughts, Rolling Stone magazine and myself. It just so happened that they published their thoughts before I did. But this isn't about me, this is about you. You're on the cover of the new record, Never Hungover Again, is that uncomfortable?


Never Hungover Again

Matt Ebert:
It was at first but I came to terms with it pretty quick. Now it's cool. It's okay.

Painful Burning:
What is it your idea?

Matt Ebert:
It was not my idea. I kind of pushed against it. Like any self respecting person would I think. But in the end the rest of the guys really wanted to use it. I've come to like it.

Painful Burning:
It's a great picture.

Matt Ebert:
Thank you.

Painful Burning:
The woman... I won't even ask about her, it doesn't matter. Is there any bad blood between the former members of Joyce Manor and yourself?

Matt Ebert:
No. It's fine. As far as I know.

Painful Burning:
Do you know any of them?

Matt Ebert:
Not really personally.

Painful Burning:
Do they ever sarcastically ask you about the band?

Matt Ebert:
No.

Painful Burning:
Why did Barry ask you to join?

Matt Ebert:
Because we've been playing in bands together for many years. I was moving home from Portland in 2009 and I asked, "Want to start a new band?" Because I know he was interested in doing something full time and I was interested in doing something full time. And he just said, "Hey, want to join Joyce Manor?"

Painful Burning:
Did this conversation take place at a bowling alley?

Matt Ebert:
No, this was on the phone.

Painful Burning:
Do you know why I brought that up?

Matt Ebert:
Maybe?

Painful Burning:
Because I heard everyone knows each other in the band from a bowling alley.

Matt Ebert:
I met Barry at a bowling alley when we were fourteen years old. And coincidentally, several years later, Chase worked at the same bowling alley.

Painful Burning:
What bowling alley was this?

Matt Ebert:
Gable House.


Matt Ebert ;)

Painful Burning:
Weren't you all in the same league together or something?

Matt Ebert:
I was in a youth league with some friends. Barry was in the same youth league with some friends. And we were on opposite teams.

Painful Burning:
Did you guys ever play against each other?

Matt Ebert:
Yeah.

Painful Burning:
Who won?

Matt Ebert:
I don't remember. We actually talked about this last night, Barry wanted to take bowling because he was a ska kid and it was the ska thing to do. And I'm sure I was doing it for the same reasons. Barry had a Mustard Plug shirt on and I had an AFI shirt on. So we really hit it off. You don't find too many other kids like that in Torrance.

Painful Burning:
Is Torrance one of those places where there aren't a lot of punks so everyone that was into it knew each other?

Matt Ebert:
Torrance is so big, there are three high schools. I didn't even go to school in Torrance, I went to school in a town over. So yes and no. Backyard shows and house shows definitely happened there. But I think I mainly met Barry through the OC ska messageboard. It was just a coincidence that he lived close by.

Painful Burning:
Did this have anything to do with you managing a band called Let's Go Over There?

Matt Ebert:
No.

Painful Burning:
Are you surprised I knew that?

Matt Ebert:
You're like Nardwuar. I'm not surprised. Those were friends from my high school. I didn't manage them.

Painful Burning:
Everybody told me that you managed them.

Matt Ebert:
Who's everyone?

Painful Burning:
I did some research, I asked some people.

Matt Ebert:
No, I was going to be in that band and one time they kicked me out without telling me. I had maybe played with them one time. I didn't care about it at all.

Painful Burning:
What did you play in the band?

Matt Ebert:
Guitar...I think. It was one of those things where I was fourteen or fifteen and I didn't care about it at all.

Painful Burning:
How did you find out you were kicked out?

Matt Ebert:
From their website. They had a website. They did nothing but they had a website.

Painful Burning:
But why do people think you managed the band?

Matt Ebert:
I hung out with them at every practice they had, I went to every show. I think maybe I tried to get them a couple shows. But I don't know where people get that.

Painful Burning:
You never got ten percent of their cut?

Matt Ebert:
No. But I did get a Let's Go Over There tattoo years later. But Barry's band played a show with Let's Go Over There one time.


Matt Ebert's Let's Go Over There tattoo.

Painful Burning:
What were they called?

Matt Ebert:
Kid Gruesome. But I already kinda knew him at that point. So there's really no connection. Long story short, there's no connection.

Painful Burning:
The first full length was recorded in 2010, now four years later, how do you feel the band has changed?

Matt Ebert:
When we were starting out the band we were sort of like a pop punk band that subconsciously wanted to be a power violence band. But not like one of those Lifetime influenced bands that are trying to sound like a pop punk band and a hardcore band.

Painful Burning:
Pop punk with breakdowns.

Matt Ebert:
Because of where we came from, without even trying, there was a subtle hardcore influence. I think the more and more we play together and the older we get we're slowly moving away from that and our songs are more like pop songs. I don't want to say it's what we've always wanted to write but it's where we're at right now.

Painful Burning:
Maybe you weren't ready when you were younger.

Matt Ebert:
Yeah.

Painful Burning:
I've noticed a lot of bands that come from a punk sound slowly moving into folk and country. Is that your next step?

Matt Ebert:
I do like the pedal steel guitar. I think it sounds really good. But no.

Painful Burning:
Maybe that's a preview of what's to come. Why are you in love with Huell Howser?

Matt Ebert:
He's the heart of California and I love California. He represents everything I like about it.


Huell Howser rasterbated.

Painful Burning:
Which is what?

Matt Ebert:
I love the weirdness, the pop culture, the history. I like his way of disarming people that I think is a trait that not a lot of reporters have. I do realize it's hoaky. And that it's normally something that only old women like. But I'm okay with that.

Painful Burning:
Do you feel like you're being disarmed right now?

Matt Ebert:
No.

Painful Burning:
You don't feel disarmed at all?


Matt Ebert:
If anything I'm arming myself.

Painful Burning:
Would you ever make a Huell Howser t-shirt for the band?

Matt Ebert:
No.

Painful Burning:
Why?

Matt Ebert:
Because it's not something that resonates with the band as an entity. It's more of my thing.

Painful Burning:
Why did you almost get fired from Peet's coffee six years ago?

Matt Ebert:
I don't know if I got almost fired, I may have exaggerated when I said that. When I was living up in Portland I lived on a futon in the living room when I was drunk on shitty malt liquor and stoned on bad weed all the time. So I would miss my alarm a lot and be late to work a lot. When I wanted to transfer back to the Peet's in Southern California I had to call and beg for my job back.


Matt Ebert casually hanging out.

Painful Burning:
This is the last question. When you're on tour what stops you from cheating on your girlfriend?

Matt Ebert:
It's not something I have to think about.

Painful Burning:
What do you mean?

Matt Ebert:
I don't do it because I care about her.

Painful Burning:
Why do you care about her?

Matt Ebert:
Why are you doodling on your interview sheet?

Painful Burning:
It helps me. I don't want to stare at you. It's something to do with my hand... Hey, I'm asking the questions here.

Matt Ebert:
Because I love her very much and I have no desire.

Painful Burning:
Do you promise?

Matt Ebert:
I promise.

-Z

Ben Frost - A U R O R A (Mute) (2014)

Under The Skin was an awful movie, just like that glossy pile Upstream Color. An artistic approach to the sci-fi genre that foregoes any discernible storytelling for mood and visuals. A movie like Snowpiercer is incredibly flawed (it made less sense than a piggy bank lol) but that's because it has actual plot that can be criticized. It's nice you directed some music videos but please leave the sci-fi genre alone. I want to see a plasma pistol blow an alien's brains into zero gravity, not fifteen minutes of a slow zoom on someone's fingernail. (Her and Eternal Sunshine... are obvious exceptions. But both would've been better with plasma pistols.)

Which leads us to Ben Frost's A U R O R A. This album is exactly the type of music to be expected in an incoherent art movie. Ambient, drone, industrial, you know the drill. It's misanthropic electronic music with some dude banging on drums. (The dude is Thor Harris from Swans.) It's perfect for flashback scenes in the haunted abandoned mental hospital. It's a bit much. Like a Brian Eno CD sold at Hot Topic. Ben Frost makes ambient music for people with face tattoos. If you're not feeling angsty enough, Tim Hecker released a new song called "Amps, Drugs, Mellotron" via Adult Swim.

-Z

Gas Rag - Beats Off (Beach Impediment/Even Worse) (2014)

Here's my question for you. Is there any series of words that would you give you a better idea of what this album sounds like than this photograph of Gas Rag playing?


(Photo is from here.)

You know what, it's worth mentioning that they have both a drummer and a bass player. Neither are featured in the photo. They also play at a fast 80's punk/hardcore tempo. They look like they'd be slower. Besides that the photo is pretty spot on. At this point I was going to make some funny quips about observations made from the photo, like about someone in the background doing something weird but there's none of that there. The guy wearing the camou shirt seems like a regular guy. Everything seems pretty regular here. The guitarist is wearing a du-rag. Oh wait, that's pretty weird. I wonder if it's been soaked in gas? Haha, you know, like a gas rag??? Okay, that was pretty bad. I wonder if I was taller I would be a happier person.

-Z

The KVB - Out Of Body EP (A Records) (2014)

Stream all six songs here.

The KVB is a band I've never heard of so I did some extensive researching and came across some crucial information. The KVB consists of two members, Nicholas Wood and Kat Day. They are from the U.K. They are attractive. They wear a lot of black. They joined Facebook on 02/15/2010. Their e-mail is thekvb@gmail.com. They are obsessed with Aranciata Rossa flavored San Pellegrino. Pretty standard stuff. But then I came across this chunket of information via minimalwave.com:



It could just be a typo but please follow my conjecture. Every other source refers to the duo as "Nicholas Wood and Kat Day." But here it refers to them as "Klaus Von Barrel and Kat Day." So here's the deal. Nicholas Wood made really serious shoegaze. It needed a real serious name because that's a humorless genre of music. So he changed his name to Klaus Von Barrel. He initialed his stagename and made that the name of the project. In 2011 the following conversation happened:

Kat Day: I love the music, what's your name?
Klaus Von Barrel: Klaus Von Barrel.
Kat Day: I'm sorry?
Klaus Von Barrel: Klaus Von Barrel.
Kat Day: Are you serious?
Klaus Von Barrel: Yes. I'm so serious that I have a serious name like Klaus Von Barrel.
Kat Day: That is so stupid.
Klaus Von Barrel: Klaus Von Barrel?
Kat Day: Klaus Von Barrel.
Klaus Von Barrel: Kat Day is a stupid name.
Kat Day: No, it's not.
Klaus Von Barrel: But you don't even sound like a German who commands a castle.
Kat Day: Yeah, I know, that's why it's not stupid.
Klaus Von Barrel: I sound prestigious.
Kat Day: You sound like you command a castle made out of barrels. Barrel? Really?
Klaus Von Barrel: What do you suggest?
Kat Day: What is your actual name?
Klaus Von Barrel: Nicholas Wood.
Kat Day: That's a thousand times better.
Klaus Von Barrel: Nobody takes me seriously with that name.
Kat Day: Based on what?
Klaus Von Barrel: People have said, "Nicholas Wood have sex with a man."
Kat Day: Um, was this in middle school?
Klaus Von Barrel: Yes, how did you know?
Kat Day: We're adults now so you don't have to worry about that.

And Kat Day was correct. Little did she know her private conversation with Nicholas Wood make it's way into a prestigious review such as this one.

-Z

Top 20 Of 2014 (So Far...)

The year is halfway over. Six months of work, sleep and trying to get better at everything. Luckily all of that is accompanied by this. I tried to reflect on the year but, off top, I can't remember anything besides what would either sound like bragging or whining. There are the normalcies but nobody wants to read about those. So here are my twenty most listened to albums released in 2014. The only caveat worth mentioning is that I have listened to a lot of Total Control's Typical System but that hasn't been released yet so I won't count it. A big thank you to all twenty of these records for making the unbearable bearable. Instead of making you read about the albums you can just click and listen.

Ajax - Bleach For Breakfast (Self-Released)
Angel Olsen - Burn Your Fire For No Witness (Jagjaguwar)
Cold Cave - Full Cold Moon (Heartworm)
Container - Adhesive (Liberation Technologies)
Creative Adult - Psychic Mess (Run For Cover)
Dead Congregation - Promulgation Of The Fall (Profound Lore/Norma Evangelium Diaboli)
The Down House - Low 7" (Broke Hatre)
Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - Piñata (Madlib Invazion)
Have A Nice Life - Unnatural World (The Flenser/Enemies List Home Recordings)
High-Functioning Flesh - A Unity of Miseries - A Misery of Unities (DKA)
HTRK - Psychic 9-5 Club (Ghostly)
Impetuous Ritual - Unholy Congregation Of Hypocritical Ambivalence (Profound Lore)
Indian - From All Purity (Relapse)
Liars - Mess (Mute)
Lust For Youth - International (Sacred Bones)
Nothing - Guilty Of Everything (Relapse)
S.H.I.T. - Generation Shit 7" / Collective Unconsciousness 7" (Lengua Armada/Iron Lung)
Sun Kil Moon - Benji (Caldo Verde)
Tony Molina - Dissed & Dismissed (Slumberland)
Warthog - Prison 7" (Iron Lung)



-Z